Valentine's Day
by Tammy-Louise
Summary: Harry and Hermione are seperated by the war and forced to keep their new love a secret. When they spend a bittersweet Valentine's Day together, Hermione reflects on her feelings and what the future may hold.


_Note: Written before Deathly Hallows was released._

Hermione gazed out across the lake towards the castle through a veil of tears. Unbidden but unstoppable, they welled up in her eyes until the towers of Hogwarts were nothing but a blur against the beautiful sunset sky. She stared resolutely ahead, hoping that he wouldn't see them twinkling in her eyes in the strange twilight. She sat frozen, seeing nothing but a blur, aware of nothing but the fear and pain filling her heart.

They had spent a wonderful day together, hidden from everyone in their own private world. They had spent it sitting by the lake, finally enjoying each others company after the long weeks apart. But it was getting dark and soon they would have to be separated again.

"I don't want you to leave, Harry," Hermione said softly. "Please don't go." She regretted it instantly. She should have been thankful that she'd been able to see him at all on this special day.

Harry didn't say anything for a moment. Hermione was staring straight ahead, trying to hide the tears in her eyes, so she didn't see the ones in his. She didn't see the look of pain on his face as he tried to find words he so desperately didn't want to say. "I don't want to go, but I have to."

She knew he was right. He was in hiding, she was needed at school, and if they were seen together…. She shuddered at the thought of what might happen if their secret relationship was discovered. Harry had insisted from the start that not even their closest friends could know for fear of what Voldemort would do if he found out, how he would use her to get him. He could not allow Hermione to be tortured and killed simply because he, Harry, loved her more than anyone else. Not after what happened to Sirius. Although she had defiantly insisted that she was not afraid to be with him, the thought of being taken by Voldemort haunted her nightmares.

Even so, it had been her idea to spend Valentine's Day together. Not that she had been taken in by all that commercialism and romantic rubbish, she was quick to point out, but simply because the pain of being separated would be so much more difficult to bear when she was surrounded by all the normal, happy couples at school enjoying their special day. Harry had been against it at first, but Hermione had thrown herself into solving the problem with even more dedication than usual, and he had been forced to relent when Hermione had researched fifty different ways that they could remain magically hidden.

But as the precious minutes together slipped away, Hermione realised that she had been wrong. Surely spending the day alone would have been less painful than saying goodbye to him again would be. How could she walk away from him tonight? How could she go back to her lonely room after these few short hours together had reminded her what she was missing the rest of the time? The thought alone was enough to make the tears fall.

"I'm sorry," she said, immediately feeling guilty. Even as the warm tears spilled onto her cold face she fought for control of her emotions. She shouldn't cry in front of Harry. She should be strong for his sake. His life was difficult enough without having to take care of her as well. And besides, she wanted to make the most of their time together.

"No, it's ok," said Harry tenderly. "It's better for you to cry now than when you're alone and I can't help you. Let it out now." He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. She buried her face against him and cried. She cried for all the loneliness she had felt since Harry had left school, for all the fear she felt not knowing where he was or what was happening to him. She cried for what Voldemort had done to their lives.

Hermione's feelings were so conflicted. She longed for the day Voldemort and his followers were defeated. The day she and Harry could be together openly. The day Harry would finally be freed from the shadow that had hung over his life, depriving him of love and normality. But she also feared that day more than anything because Harry would have to risk his own life to achieve Voldemort's downfall. On the outside she presented nothing but support and confidence, but deep in her heart she feared that Harry did not have it what it took to kill.

The prophecy weighed heavily on her mind. She knew that Harry would have to face Voldemort eventually, face him and kill him or die in the attempt. She knew that a day would come when Harry, barely an adult, would once again face the most powerful dark wizard of this age. Maybe there would be more narrow escapes before that day, but the final confrontation ending in death was inevitable. Her fate too depended on what would happen that day. Either all her dreams would come true or the man she loved would die. Maybe even today would be the last time she saw him.

Hermione cried for some time while Harry held her tight and whispered loving things to her. This was how it should always be. He was supposed to be there to hold her when she needed comforting and to laugh with her during the good times. Eventually the tears stopped falling. He lifted her face and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. She took a deep breath and sat up straighter, resigning herself to the task ahead with as much courage as she could. His eyes searched her face and an intense expression appeared on his. "What is it?" she asked him.

"It's just, I can't believe it took me six years to realise how beautiful you are."

"Oh, Harry!" she exclaimed, a brilliant smile lighting up her brown eyes.

"That's better," he said. "I hate to see you so upset. I promise we'll get through this. Everything will be ok. Pretty soon all this will be over and then we'll live happily ever after."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

In spite of her doubts, Hermione found herself believing him. She had always trusted Harry from they day they had first met. She knew he would never hurt her. He knew her so well, better than anyone else in the world. She could show him sides of herself no one else was allowed to see, like the fragile Hermione who just wanted to be loved. She wasn't afraid to tell him how much she was hurting, how much she was frightened.

"I'm so scared, Harry," she whispered. "I don't think I can do this again. I can't bear the thought of you out there in danger all the time. I feel so helpless."

"Don't be silly," he said gently. "I couldn't do this without you. Everything I've done since leaving school has been with your help. You're the one who worked out where the locket was. You're the one who worked out how to destroy it. Everyone knows you're the brains behind this operation. You tell me what to do and I do it. Your wish is my command," he added cheekily.

"You'll do anything I want?"

"Anything," he replied with a grin.

"Kiss me, Harry," she said impetuously.

He leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. She gave him her famous stern, bossy look. "That's not what I meant. Kiss me properly."

This time he kissed her on the lips. His touch was intimate and loving, his lips moving tenderly against hers, his hand gently touching her cheek. Painfully aware of how little time they had left together, she kissed him back boldly and hungrily, wrapping her arms around him. He moaned softly, surprised and excited, kissing her as deeply as he could, tangling his hands into her soft, bushy hair.  
Eventually they pulled back and stared into each others eyes. "That was amazing," Harry sighed. "I'll remember that next time I need a patronus." Hermione couldn't help but grin.

How could he be so loving, she wondered, when he had experience so little love himself? Her heart broke for Harry, for all the suffering and loss he had experienced in just seventeen short years. Voldemort had deprived Harry of his parents before he was even old enough to remember them, of his godfather just as they were getting to know each other, of the devoted headmaster who had supported him for six years. Now he was depriving Harry of his friends, and of Hermione's love, because he was so afraid of losing them too.

"Seriously though," he continued. "I don't know how you cope. I'm out there doing something, but you're stuck here at school, barely even being told what's going on. You're Head Girl, you're doing about fifteen NEWTs, plus all that extra work to help me. And somehow you still manage to get straight Os with all that hanging over you. It's not normal to be that clever, Hermione."

She laughed, and protested, and they argued playfully for some time.

"You're shivering," he said after a little while. Hermione hadn't noticed the drop in temperature, but now she realised it felt bitterly cold. "Come on," he said, wrapping his arms around her tighter, pressing their bodies together to share heat. It felt wonderful to be in his arms, the warmth and closeness and safety surrounding her. She snuggled up against him, resting her head against his shoulder. They stayed that way until it was time to leave, watching the sun set and chatting happily the way they used to do all the time.

Gradually the sky grew dark and hundreds of stars appeared in the sky, their reflection twinkling on the surface of the lake. It was a beautiful night. Hermione looked towards the castle again and thought of all the normal couples snogging in empty classrooms. She had been right all along. What she and Harry had was so much better than that.

When the time came, Hermione did her best to stay calm but the anguish she felt was written clearly on her face. "Everything will be ok," Harry reassured her. "I'll see you again soon. I love you, Hermione, and I won't let Voldemort take that away from us."

"I love you too, Harry," she replied, her voice shaking.

"I know you can do this. Be strong," he said, wrapping her into a hug. She promised that she would be, and hugged him back as tightly as she could. She tried to burn the feel of his arms into her memory to keep her going when she was alone. As they pulled apart he took her hand one last time and gave her one last gentle kiss on the lips. "Happy Valentine's Day, Hermione."

Then he took hold of the portkey that was set to take him away. Letting go of his hand was the hardest thing Hermione had ever done, but with a brave smile she let him go. He smiled back, and a few seconds later he disappeared. His sudden absence hit her like a physical pain, as though he had ripped away piece of her heart and taken it away with him. It was much colder now, bitter and penetrating, but there was no one to keep her warm anymore.

She had never felt so alone. There was no one she could go to for comfort that night, no one she could tell her feelings to. She wanted to collapse on the ground and cry her eyes out, but she had made a promise. She held her head up high and walked calmly back to school, hoping that Harry would one day know she had done it and be proud.

*******

A few hours later, Hermione lay awake in her bed, thinking of Harry while she waited for sleep to come, praying that it would bring her dreams of him. It had been a wonderful day and she wanted to relive it until morning brought her back to her normal life. She wanted to hear his words of love and encouragement all night, leaving no room for the fear, doubt and loneliness that night usually brought.

Her heart swelled as she remembered the expression on his face as she had first approached him that morning. He had looked so nervous and hopeful as he waited for her to arrive, and it was so adorable that Hermione had wanted to run over and hug him straight away. Instead she'd just said his name, and when he saw her his face lit up with happiness, even amazement, as he whispered, "I almost forgot how beautiful you are." She never wanted to forget those words.

He had brought her a card, her first ever Valentine's card. She had almost cried with happiness when he had so shyly handed her the pink envelope. "I hope it's not too soppy for you. I know you don't like all that stuff but I had to do this properly." Hermione had protested that she loved the card, knowing that she would treasure it forever.

Doing it properly had meant chocolates too. Her favourites, of course. He was so thoughtful. "I wanted to bring you flowers as well," he had told her, "but I knew that you would have to hide them and they would get ruined if you put them in your bag. So I brought you this instead." Harry had pulled from his bag a small package wrapped in pink paper and watched her anxiously as she opened it. It was a beautiful silver locket with a gold rose on it. "Oh, Harry," she had exclaimed, throwing her arms around him with such force than she'd nearly knocked him over. She smiled at the memory. He had looked so shy when he'd handed her the gifts, and so surprised at her reaction, but she had felt just as shy when giving him his gift.

If it was possible, Hermione thought, she loved Harry even more now than when she had woken up that morning. He had been so attentive and thoughtful all day. He had even brought her a romantic picnic lunch, although the mood had been spoiled slightly by a lot of giggling as they attempted to feed each other. "I saw it in a muggle movie and always wanted to try it," he'd said, laughing. She tried to remember the sound of it.

Hermione clutched the locket in her hand as she lay in bed, wanting to touch something he had touched as she went over the high points of the day in her mind. The lovely things he had said, his warm hugs and gentle kisses. "Happy Valentine's Day, Harry", she whispered.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face, dreaming of his.


End file.
